Friday, July 27, 2007

Roman in Wonderland

Now when Alice dropped down the rabbit hole, and, later, went through the looking glass, she was confronted with extremely obvious and very wonderful absurdities. “Wonderful”, especially when Carroll was writing, in fact simply means “capable of exciting wonder.” It was not necessarily good. I suspect some people think my coffee is wonderfully bad, especially those who do not appreciate coffee strong enough to qualify as biohazard. I have seem some people, not merely displeased, but blinking in genuine amazement when they tasted my coffee for the first time.

To the subject at hand: The wonders I’m thinking of today are less obvious than talking animals and the like, but to me, just as astonishing.

Yesterday I read an essay ("Girls Gone Mild") about girls returning to modesty in dress and chastity in conduct. The author, Wendy Shalit, was taken by surprise at the tongue lashings she received. One feminist critic, Feminist writer Katha Pollitt, called her “a twit”. Now Pollitt’s daughter, along with, guess who, Erica Jong’s daughter, are in college, and they repudiate their mothers’ sexual mores strongly. Molly Jong-Fast tried the lifestyle her mother advocated; declares it “utterly unsatisfying”; has abandoned her mother’s moral standards and even says she is embarrassed by her mother’s writings.

Wait, there’s more. This article got me onto a train of thought which has been developing in me for decades—and is one constellation of observations and experiences that brought me back to fully professing and practicing (however poorly) Roman Catholicism.

I had decades of first-hand contact with people committed to trying to achieve happiness and freedom through such “open” or “free” sex. In fact, so committed were these people that those who held contrary views—even those who did not criticize promiscuity or preach chastity, but simply wanted to quietly live chaster lives—were not simply considered wrong. They were routinely mocked, ridiculed, savagely attacked. And among one another, they not only praised freedom, in the form of exhibitionism and promiscuity, but they also were touchy and judgemental of one another; always on the lookout for signs of insufficient “freedom”.

Okay; what’s so wonderful about this?

I’m glad you asked.

No, it’s not nearly as obvious as a talking rabbit with a pocket watch. But in its way, it’s just as wonderful. I can remember, back in the seventies, a real moment of epiphany. Some friends of mine were speaking of a woman they knew and shared that they were concerned for her welfare and annoyed at her self-destructive conduct. Her offending actions? She had been, not remotely married, nor even engaged, but just “going steady” with the same boyfriend for nearly two years. She was going to “go stale”, one person said. At any rate, this behavior was shocking; they spoke of it gravely and with indignation.

In other words, they were SCANDALIZED.

Now who sees where I’m going with this?

They were scandalized. I stood there listening to them, and suddenly it came to me with a shock that their attitude towards sex was, in fact, a sort of puritanical prudery. They were just as judgemental, frightened, scornful, indignant; just as quick to take offence and be shocked, at people who professed or practiced different sexual mores from their own as the most obvious stereotypical blue-law 17th Century Puritans.

I was truly in shock. This was WONDERFUL. Once I realized that regarding the demeanor and remarks of these people, I realized that it characterized, to a greater or lesser extent, the entire “sexually liberated” community.

Take a look at the “girls gone mild” story I began with. Here we have two young women going off to college. What do they do, now that they are away from home and on their own? Why, they refuse to be happy with the sexual conventions they were brought up with. They experiment with Alternative Sexual Conduct! They end up rejecting their mothers’ sexual standards! They do this not only in their own conduct, but they also admit it publicly! Poor Erica Jong’s daughter even reiterated that she dearly loves her mother still, yet is “embarrassed” by her writings!

Yes, I am a Roman in Wonderland.

LogEyed Roman

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2 Comments:

Blogger CMinor said...

Dropped in from DarwinCatholic's link. Very interesting; I'll keep an eye out for the book.

8:50 PM  
Blogger Suzanne Temple said...

Interesting. I have thought the same thing--that there is a certain rebellion in turning back to traditional values of all kinds. That rebellion can have a certain appeal and for the wrong reasons, but I suppose if it gets you to do the right things it is far better than a rebellion that results in disordered behavior.

6:00 AM  

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